Blabberchops - uncensored, unrevised and unnecessary

What's chopstastic?

2008-09-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

SCARLET CANDLES - that's what! Stumbled accross these little beauties during an internet rampage the other day. They're sexy candles that create hot massage oil as they burn. Nice, no? YES! Go to www.scarletcandles.com and check em out. Don't be shy!
This is J.R. Blabberchops, signing out.

Places to go this new years

2006-12-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

The Book of Luke - http://thebookofluke.blogspot.com/

This site gets the Blabberchops one thubs up and is on the verge of making me extend my second thumb. I'd visit it, so why not you?

DY-NO-MITE!

2006-10-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

CHOPTASSTIC!

Movies that get the blabberchops two thumbs up - New York minute.
It's hip, it's rad, it deserves notable mention or SOMETHING damn it! Anything withtwins, a mexican hairless dog and hijinx is HOT with Blabberchops!

lOVES IT!

From the pen of J.R. Blabberchops

2006-06-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

What the chops??

2006-06-14T03:04:00.000-07:00

That's right!

Now you too can have your say!

Anyone,

Anytime,

Anywhere

Can have your say here on Blabberchops!

Don't be shy! Come on and learn the Blabberchops way, Blabberchops style!

And here's just a few reasons why:

It's hip
It's rad
It expands your vocabulary
And it's simply the right thing to do.

And now here's this weeks lesson in Blabberchops!

Scenario one: The party push off.

You're at a party and this totally fly gentleman (or lady, whatever) sidles up to you and goes

"So, you're like, totally like, hot." (clearly they have a terribly limited vocabulary, you should direct them to this web site)

But you think to yourself 'hang on, he/she doesn't seem completely on the level'

So you say "Dude! Are you taking the chops?" (note - the abbreviated 'chops is used when one is the absolute of cool)

Translation: Are you kidding me?

Scenario two: The too cool for schooloff.

Your hairs slicked back, you got a fag hanging outa your lip-glossed mouth, and quite frankly your too cool to even breathe if the air ain't filled with some kinda toxic pollutant.

You go to a bar - a hip, movin' joint in the heart of the shadiest suburb your cab drivers prepared to go into - you nonchalantly stroll up to the bar in your fishnets, mini skirt and leather jacket. The bar man goes "So, would you like a drink you hot hunk of womanhood" and you casually reply, without so much as removing that cigarette from your lips "That'd be choptastic"

Translation: That'd be fantastic

End of lesson two

This is J.R. Blabberchops, signing out.

Have a Blabberchops day!

The Blabberchops Express

2006-06-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

Do you love talking? Do you love Blabberchops?

Well here's a way to combine the two!

Now, not only can you talk about Blabberchops, you can talk 'Blabberchops!' - the striking new language taking the world by storm.

In London to the gay Paris, hip young art students are talking 'Blabberchops!' in smoky bars and cafe's.

You see I, J.R. have led a fulfilling life, rich in contoversy and intrigue. But still something was missing.
So one night, that seemed to bleed into every other, I was singing 'Cry me a river' for the umpteenth time. And then, as if hit by forces unseen, I was struck with a moment of mental clarity - I need my own language! So thereby it was created.
Word spread pretty fast. Soon EVERYBODY was talking about this brave new language brought about by one seemingly unknown jazz musician in a seedier part of town.
And now you can speak it too! Read on to learn more................

crash course in 'Blabberchops!'

Use in everyday conversation - ie:

When ending a phone call conclude by say 'Have a Blabberchops day!' - and then promptly direct them to this website.
(this can be used at work too. Don't be afraid of your boss. How dare he tell you what to do!)

When someone tells a story rich in intrigue or conspiracy you can join in by saying 'Wow! What a Blabberchops experience!' - and then promptly direct them to this website.

When somebody makes a quirky comment or you see something absolutely hilariously fantastic you may say - 'How Blabberchops is that!' - and then promptly direct them to this website.

And it doesn't stop there! There's a Blabberchops saying fit for EVERY situation!

Come back next week to learn more, OR if you have a particular scenario in which you would like a Blabberchops saying to be inserted please leave a description in the comments below and I, J.R. Will endeavor to be of service.

Thank you for your unending support.

This is J.R. Blabberchops, signing out.

The return of the Chops!

2006-06-03T01:15:00.000-07:00

Due to the unprecedented and overwhelming appreciation for the daily tattler, I, J.R. Blabberchops will be returning soon with more of the latest news and reviews from the point of view that is mine.

Thank you to my avid and loyal readers for opening your hearts to one such as I, for it certainly is a bright day when someone stands up and takes note of an infinitesimal voice in the cacophony of wailing that is modern press.

For now I bid you good night, but for tomorrow - I will be back!

So watch this space

This is J.R. Blabberchops, signing out.

Art review - Aspects of an Anthology, by Eleanor Percival

2005-08-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

At the Glebe Gig Gallery, 70A Glebe pt. Rd. Glebe (N.S.W. Australia. (Sydney region))
Opening night - 6.30pm, Monday, October 17th
Closes - Sunday 23rd
Visit www.eleanorpercival.com for pictures of artworks and info!

J.R. Blabberchops gives this exhibition a big thumbs up! heaps of colour in a mixed media format - beeudiful!
Come to the opening for snacks AND free alcahol - a delicious combination in my book - and peruse the artworks that depict Indian life (from the artists extravaganza in India), country life (from the artists extravaganza in the Aussie country), and other more miscellaneous artworks (from the artists exravaganza in the cosmos).
A good time will be had by ALL!

This is Blabberchops, signing out.

Review: By J.R. Blabberchops

2005-04-10T17:24:00.000-07:00

The Picture of Dorian Gray, By Oscar Wilde

Delving into the pools of thought that encompass the mind of a madman this poetically written account of morality continues to inspire and captivate reader’s imaginations to this day. Showing only fragments of Dorian gray’s sordid lifestyle as he illustrates gray’s insanity, Wilde has created a menagerie of accounts to satisfy his reader’s curiosity while employing the use of lyrical and charming prose.
This story of a man brought to ruin by his own vanity and the interesting characters who sway his ideals and beliefs is not always the most original of novels and does make use of certain cheap plot tactics, but as a writer Oscar Wilde exceeds expectation and has created a thoroughly enjoyable read. Dorian’s obsession with youth and beauty is especially fitting in a culture that could be remembered for it’s own obsession with diet pills and teenage stars who are better looking than they are talented.
Wilde’s romanticised accounts of suicide, revenge and murder only seem to illustrate the author’s ineptitude in regards to the human condition and his own lack of experience of the darker side of life, however Wilde conveys the lead characters demise with such a level of charm and dignity that one can’t help but be enthralled.
At times certain segments seem to exist only for Wilde to show off his vast knowledge of culture, and if the reader is looking for an existential exploration into the human soul then this book won’t wholly satisfy, BUT don’t despair dear reader for this book is well worth the read, and anyone who is intrigued by the use of the English language and interested in the human psyche, will truly enjoy ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’.

Conspiracy theory #2 revisited

2005-04-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

- The letterbox revelations at Frankenfurt Incognito’s house.

On a sunny day, circa 2004, two relatively innocent investigators, lets just call them ‘Christina Aguilera’ and ‘Mumbo Italiano’ were strolling down the street to visit a friend, who shall at this point remain nameless.
On their travels they happened to pass a certain Mr. Incognito’s house and couldn’t help but notice the stack of mail that resided underneath his mailbox where it had spilled out, there being so much of it.
Now Ms. Aguilera and Mr. Italiano are not nosey people by nature, no, and it certainly is not usual for them to rummage through other peoples mail, more or less, but Ms. Aguilera couldn’t help but be a little concerned for Mr. Incognito’s welfare as she had been privy to many years of neighborhood questioning of his whereabouts.
Therefore as a sign of human decency, Ms. Aguilera thought ‘something must be done!’
So for the sake of humanity, and certainly not to quench her own thirsty curiosity, Ms. Aguilera collected all Mr. Incognito’s unopened mail and with the aid of Mr. Italiano, carried it down to her nameless and unquestionably innocent friend’s house.
Once at the innocent third parties home Ms. Aguilera and Mr. Italiano showed the mail to the third party who as a concerned neighbour noticed that the dates of the letters went back at least four years. In light of this new discovery she may have suggested that the letters might be opened to see if any more evidence of foul play could be found.
There were many bills for electricity (connections of course as none had been used) and water etc. but the thing that was most peculiar was the fact that there were many checks addressed to Mr. Incognito.
As it seems Mr. Incognito has hundreds of thousands of dollars in shares from which he receives check of the dividends, none of which he had cashed in over four years!
The next odd thing was that although there were electricity bills and what not there were no bills for rates.
Now of course it could be that he had been out of town for years, possessed a large fortune and found it unnecessary to sell or rent out his house or to pay the electricity and water bills, but knew he needed to pay the rates to keep the ownership rights of the house, but there are holes in this story.
If in fact a close friend or neighbour was collecting the important bills such as rates for him and paying them with Mr. Incognito’s money, then why oh why would this person not forward Mr. Incognito’s checks to him?
If Mr. Incognito had decided not to continue receiving the checks but to reinvest them in the funds then why oh why had he still been receiving these checks for years?
I’m sure that most people know the law that if one pays the rates on an abandoned house for five to seven years (exact time unknown to me) then the ownership of said house transfers to that person. Anyone can pay the rates on a house but only the person whose name is on a check can cash that check.
After further investigation the trio found out from a phone call to the council by Mr. Incognito’s alleged “niece” that the rates were in fact being paid, by whom no one knows, but one thing is for sure – there are dark and unequivocal forces at work here in the true story of The disappearance of Frankenfurt Incognito!

Stay tuned as next time I will take you through the first break in at Mr. Frankenfurt Incognito’s house and uncover the story of the downfall of a derelict house in an otherwise serene neighborhood.
What terrible truths await us as this investigation unfolds? Will we ever find answers to the mystery of the Frankenfurt Incognito disappearance?

Hear about J.R Blabberchop’s theory of a town conspiring in a criminal act of betrayal and cover ups in future entries of “Blabberchops – Uncensored, unrevised and unnecessary”.

This is J.R. Blabberchops Signing out.

Today's recipe - Lamb with coconut and mint

2005-04-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

Delicious spicy lamb dish served over rice from the personal stash of J.R. Blabberchops!

Mint & coconut lamb

Ingredients:
2 cloves – crushed
2 chopped onions
Mirri sauce (buy from Asian grocery)
Splash of oil
Soy sauce (to taste)
Saki sauce
Ground fennel (a couple of sprinkles)
1 chinese star anise
Pinch lemon pepper
Diced lamb
3 tomatoes
Red capsicum
1 can light coconut milk
Heaps of mintfresh)
Heaps of spearmint (fresh)
5 sweet Basil leaves (fresh)
1 chilli
Pinch of garamasala
1 sachet tomato paste
Rice

Instructions:
In a fry pan put cloves crushed, chopped onions, mirri sauce and oil then cook untill the onion turns golden brown.
Put into fry pan soy sauce, more mirri sauce, saki sauce, ground fennel, Chinese star anise and lemon pepper. Put in this mixture diced lamb and marinate for 10-30 mins.
Chop up tomatoes, chop the mint, spearmint, basil and chili and set aside.
Cook up lamb until it’s nearly cooked then add tomato pieces, cook till tomatoes are a little soft.
Add chopped up capsicum and cook a few minutes.
Add coconut milk, chopped leaves and chilli and a few pinches garamasala and cook further 2-5 mins then add the sachet of tomato paste and mix well. Turn heat down and simmer a further 5-8 mins and serve over rice.

From the pen of J.R. Blabberchops

2005-04-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

FACT: The Queen mum was a chronic shopaholic
Stay tuned for even more interesting and useful facts, book, movie and music reviews and updates on the disappearance of Frankenfurt Incognito!

We've got intrigue we've got info, we even have human interest stories galore!
Watch out for up and coming articles such as "Oprah - friend or foe?", "The first home invasion of Frankenfurt Incognito" and "The Da Vinci Code - Why Dan Brown? Why?"
Blabberchops! - your one stop shop for whats hot!

Conspiracy theory #2 - The disappearance of Frankenfurt Incognito

2005-04-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

A true story by J.R. Blabberchops

In a quiet street of a quiet town rests a house of disproportionate intrigue.
Inside this house there once dwelled a man of average interest, who mowed the lawns regularly, kept up his homes appearance, and worked, quite like me, at a local news paper.
Now around ten years ago this man of average interest was to win a car. How is unknown and unimportant, but this man devotedly would wash this car once a week, and although he had another car and in fact did not drive the car he had won, he gave it the only spot undercover, while his other car he left to the mercy of the elements. This new car of his he fitted with sun visors inside every window, although the heat inside it was of little importance as he never entered it or drove it.
Around seven years ago this man, Frankenfurt incognito, stopped washing his car once a week, he stopped mowing his lawn, in fact he stopped doing anything in that house at all.
Now, seven years later, this man's car lies rusted and forgotten on his driveway, now left to the elements while his garage lies a lonely void, his lawn is overgrown and bedraggled and his balcony rails tumble to the ground beneath them as the termites eat their very marrow. Old stacks of mail pile up around his mailbox like discarded love notes from a happier time and his curtains always stay shut.
Of course he is often the topic of late night discussions and Christmas dinner banter, but what really happened within the four walls of Frankenfurt incognito's once humble home?
Why would a man of average to high intelligence, with a steady job, leave his house in a prominent area of an upper class suburb to ruin? What tangled web of mayhem and deceit had forced this situation into its current state of forgotten chaos?
Is this the woeful tale of a man driven to madness by betrayal of a woman or a much more sinister plot of neighbor's conspiring to cover up his disappearance in order to claim his fortune and how oh how did Frankenfurt Incognito come to own and then abandon his now derelict house?
J.R.Blabberchops finds the answers!
Stay tuned to hear all the twists and turns of this true story of lost love, betrayal and uncollected fortune.

- Sincerely yours, J.R. Blabberchops.

INTRODUCING J.R.BLABBERCHOPS

2005-03-31T22:20:00.000-08:00

Above: Album cover 'Live & uncensored',
J.R.Blabberchop's debut release, Circa 1984.

J.R.Blabberchops, d.o.b. unknown, is said to have been born in France. Orphaned at a young age, she moved to Paris with aspirations of becoming an internationally famous fashion model, but being drawn to the seedy underworld, she soon found herself coupled up with then prominent Jazz artist, Lou Brown Regal.

Regal, although highly sought after for his musical ability, was an eccentric recluse who inhabited an abandoned clock tower in the cities sleazy red light district. Some say the chiming of the clocks three bells were heard only within the depths of Regal's troubled mind, and no one really knows for sure how long ago that clock showed the right time, however, unaffected by the town's impression of Regal, J.R. was infatuated with his great talent and creative genius! He took her under his wing and J.R. obliged with open arms as he had awoken within her a newfound desire to wow the world through music.

CONSPIRACY THEORY #1:
J.R.BLABBERCHOPS WAS PURELY A FIGMENT OF LOU BROWN REGAL'S IMAGINATION.
- This was later disproved when J.R. Blabberchops released her debut album 'Live and uncensored' in 1984.

Although J.R. was widely accepted by her fellow artists, her music went unnoticed by the wider comunity and she found herself unrecognised and unremembered. Turning to the drink and the drugs to repress her dissillusionment J.R. Blabberchops found herself ruined and desperate by the tender age of thirty, with no where left to turn but the streets.
Spiralling out of controll on a rollercoaster ride of bitter regret and self loathing J.R. moved to Australia where she now resides, writing 'The Daily Tattler', a newsletter with sporadic entries, riddled with conspiracy theories and laden with witty banter.
Read on, if you will, and you too will discover the dark truth's and plethora of lies that dwell within the recesses of J.R. Blabberchop's sordid mind.

- Article from The Daily Telegraph, by Joseph Winthrop.

The Daily Tattler: It could happen daily, it could happen weekly and hey - it may never happen

2005-03-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

Thats enough flamin' effort for one day... now it's up to you guys.
We've been so accomodating in allowing you guys the right to retort, so there will be no nasty business to be had! NOT ON MY WATCH anyways.

Take it away for you will find our unique insight provides all the answers to lifes most challenging questions.
For instance (you say)? Why oh why does daylight savings exist? And why oh why is there a freckle on my palm?

P.S. Real nerds may reply!

(In case you were wondering what constitutes for "you guys" the answer would have to be any one of our myriad of readers who would like to discuss anything of little to no value to the greatest and most glorified political debates of all time.)
That was a mouthful now give us an earfull!

But remember - no nasty bastards!
J.R. Blabberchops